megotelek: (ritard)
megotelek ([personal profile] megotelek) wrote2007-04-25 06:37 pm

For Jessica, wherever I may find her...

Sniff....so Jessica moved up to Oregon today for her fantastic new job.

And I'm here thinking, how on earth am I going to find somebody else who gets me?? No, I'm not replacing you, Jess, that's impossible. But I'm going to need somebody locally, you know? And Eliza, I love you, but there's just something about having someone around who's from the same non-generational generation as Jess and I. You know, people who are deeply ashamed of Kandi and her ilk. And how many twentysomethings do you know who would recognize Simon & Garfunkel (or Peter and the Wolf, for that matter) when they heard it?

So, anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I'm super-excited for you, Jess, and I really hope the job goes well, and I'm eagerly awaiting your triumphant return to the Sunshine State. What is Oregon, anyway? The Kevorkian State? Uh....the Trail State? Eh, I knew that for a test in fifth grade and then it flitted away, out of my brain forever.

God, I hate making friends. Well, I don't hate the friends part, I hate the work part. I hate trying to make friends because it makes me feel like the gawky, geeky tween all over again whose only friends were her teachers..and the people even more geeky than she was. My shrink says (Yes, I'm seeing a shrink. No, I'm not proud of it.) that, combined with my perfectionism, basically makes me a train wreck waiting to happen. The perfectionism combined with the need to be 'in' with the popular crowd. I never was proud of being a geek. I don't think I said the words 'Star Trek' outside my house until I was 18. And then, it was only because I was shocked that there were people like me outside my house. Come on, people, I went to public school. In CALIFORNIA. I'm surprised I didn't get beat up at least once...

Ok, this is turning into kind of a psychological rant of sorts. I didn't mean it to be. I'm trying to sort out why this particular situation is hitting me SO freakin' hard, so I guess I had to dredge up all the old memories. Because I honestly don't understand it. I've had friends move away before...heck, my BEST friend since 3rd grade moved to Southern California recently and I just feel a little twinge guilty for not keeping in touch. No big deal, really. But lately, I've just been in a FUNK. I can honestly be ok when we're out with people, but the second I'm by myself, it just hits me like a ton of encyclopedias. Encyclopediae?

Ah well, I'm going up for Memorial Day Weekend, so I'll just focus on that and not on the empty chair next to me on Tuesday nights.

heh!

[identity profile] fabalalurline.livejournal.com 2007-04-26 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
Oh no star trek outside the house till you were 18, eh? I think not, I distinctly remember freshman year watching it in your dad's classroom with all the other major spaztic dorks we hung out with. I didn't even watch star trek (nor was I geek for that matter), I just liked playing hearts. I got dragged to 4 hours of the star trek experience in Vegas b/c my bf loves it. Meh, anyways, I feel ya on the funk thing, you just gotta remember that it'll pass and try not to focus on when it'll pass and you'll be fine...Hope you feel better!