Excuse me, have you seen my brain? I think it oozed out over here...

[megotelek]

So…we went to the California State Fair yesterday.

Overall, it was a lot of fun. We got there at about 2:30pm and headed for the <food on stick> stands. Then we decided to go through the inside exhibits first, so we went through all the creative arts displays. There was, for some reason, a little girl “singing” in one of the buildings – the one with the quilts and home crafts. She was attempting to sing “Journey to the Past” from Anastasia.

I say “attempting” because every single note was off-pitch. She wasn’t in a weird key, it was that every. Single. Note. Was either way sharp, or way flat. Jessica and I about shredded the straws on our cups trying to make our way through that horrible noise. Then, briefly, there was blessed silence. Followed by an even-more-horrible rendition of “If They Could See Me Now”, from Sweet Charity. We fled.

I would listen to “She Bangs”, as sung by William Hung, fifty thousand times before I would subject myself to that little girl again.

So then we went to the “Fur & Feathers” exhibit – small animals and birds. That’s where the bunnies and hamsters and guinea pigs and chinchillas are. And this year, they had kittens! They were SO CUTE. And then, right around the corner, incubators full of baby quail. SO CUTE. We about died from cute overload. And then…we went to the barnyard nursery and saw the piglets and lambs. *dead from cute*

 

So then we wandered through the Hollywood exhibit building (this year’s theme was “Going Hollywood”) and saw all the movie props and costumes – very cool.

And then, of course, we went through all the shopping booths. I have stuff now! A purse with magnetic “skins”, lipstick that changes color based on your body chemistry, and decals for my computer keyboard (it’s piratey, arrrgh!).

I saved the best for last. We went to the horse show after dinner. It started off great – with a tribute to Roy Rogers and Dale Evans by the Sacramento Sheriff’s Posse (our mounted police). And Roy Rogers’ oldest son was sitting four people down from me! They did drilling/formation routines, and when they finished they saluted Roy Rogers’ son, and he saluted them back, and I got all teary. Then, Roy Rogers’ granddaughter came out and sang “Happy Trails” – and I got all teary again.

And then – their salute to Hollywood. It was so bizarre – they picked movies like The Matrix and Terminator and Chicago. So for Terminator, they had a guy in leather on a horse with fake hubcaps. On the horse. Just when we thought it couldn’t get weirder, I saw a flash of red off to my right. That’s right – Iron Man on a horse.

But wait…there’s more. After I was done going “Bwuh?” at the Iron Man spectacle, I saw the familiar swirl of a black cape and a distinctive helmet. Could it be….no. That would be too weird. But it was.

Darth Vader. On a horse. Who came out to battle Iron Man. Also on a horse. Yeah, that sound you heard was my brain exploding.

And then! The Terminator came out (also on horseback) for a three-way showdown with Darth Vader and Iron Man!

ETA: Also, there was trick riding (they were all Disney characters or movie characters) and this one girl comes out that prompted this exchange:

Me: Who is she supposed to be?
Elizabeth: Heidi?
Jessica: What kind of twisted version of Heidi did you watch?!
Elizabeth: Um...apparently the porno version...

And then, she started her routine...to a dance-remixed version of the "Lonely Goatherd" song from The Sound of Music. DANCE. REMIXED. With a skankified goatherdess doing handstands on a horse. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. True story.

There may or may not have been a funnel cake and fireworks after that point…I lost track, due to my brain being all splodey.